Throwback to the past

So my friend wrote this on December 31st. He then asked me to go finish it off for him. Why he thought that I would be the best person to run with it, I don’t know, but I duly did.

I thought the nozzle of a gun pressing against my temple would be a far more frightening experience but its coinciding with my first time being raped has rather stolen its thunder.  By all press reports, this shell of a former Hollywood action hero should’ve been incapable of sodomising me, but then, most reports of his failing health and slide into feckless alcoholism were fabricated by yours truly.

Tyler Throwback had been the toast of Tinseltown and a hero to socially awkward teenage boys for nearly a decade. His films a shocking mix of high-kicking, car-chasing, soft focus tits and naff one liners; his presence on the marquee guaranteed huge opening weekend box office receipts. That was until he was outed as a pederast with a sideline in bestiality.  Or did I make that up too?  The difference seems academic as he tears the flesh of my arsehole and spits furious nothings into the pooled saliva in my ear.

I know how I got here.  And I don’t really care.  Like many in this town I saw my shot and took it.  I only wish I wasn’t about to die face down in a pillow case I should’ve washed months ago.

The casting couch is infamous in this town, but if you can’t make it as an actor, you can make it as a hack.  The public lap up the malicious gossip about who’s screwing who behind whose back and the stories about ‘stolen’ sex tapes.  They’re never actually stolen.  At the time Plastic Pamela got her tits out on the boat it brought the celebrity sex tape to the mainstream.  Now I make deals with celebrities to get their tape out there into the public domain.  Sometimes we even do the editing for them.  No publicity is bad publicity in this town.  Although as my face presses into this yellowing pillow, my vision obscured by my own hair, I realise that spreading rumours about Throwback under the headline ‘Tyler And The Tyke’ may not have been the best idea.